Tried and True Mommy

Most people I have talked to find it amazing that my kids do their own laundry.  I figure if my four year old can put his clothes on and take them off by himself then why can’t he put them in the washing machine too?

Both of my boys push and pull their laundry basket into the laundry room once a week and shove as many clothes into the washing machine as possible.  We have a front loading washer which makes it very convenient for them to reach, but my seven year old thinks it would be much more fun if we had a top loading washer so that he could play basketball with his dirty clothes.  The boys don’t sort their clothes out by darks or lights, we just shove it all in and wash it on a cold cycle.  Life in general is a lot easier when you don’t have to sort it out. 

I measure and pour in the laundry soap and toss the soap cup in with the clothes.  Then I let the boys push the right buttons to start the washing machine.  I usually set the buzzer alarm for when the wash is done so that the boys know when it is time to switch the laundry to the dryer, but it’s amazing how selective their hearing is on laundry day.  After a quick reminder they have no problem putting the wet clothes into the dryer and I start the dryer for them since they can’t reach the buttons.  When that’s done they take all the clean clothes out of the dryer and put them into their laundry basket and take it back to their room to be sorted and put away.  We have some fun tips and tricks I’ll share with you in my next post (we’re going to make a video)!

So you might be asking yourself, “How do you actually get them to do it without the whining, moaning and groaning?”

Well, I give them a choice: either do your laundry or go naked.  It really is their choice.  My four year old actually gets excited about running around naked instead of doing his laundry, but that is short lived when he realizes he can’t go outside and play and/or he gets cold, which ever comes first.  My seven year old decided he’d just wear dirty clothes, which was fine until I put them all in the washing machine and that’s where they stayed, nice and wet.  I gave him a choice, he could either put them in the dryer or just leave them there, because I was not going to switch them over, I had already done him the favor of washing them.  He quickly caught on to the fact that he was going to have to be the one to put them in the dryer, and pull them out when they were done, or else he was going to school the next day in his pajamas or wet clothing.  Again totally his choice. 

I love it when my kids have to make choices!  They learn so quickly that way!

My boys have come to learn that having clean clothing is a previlage that they have earned through their hard work.  The day after laundry day, when all their clothes are hanging up in their closet and they can choose anyone of them, they really get excited.  They’re proud of themselves because they know that they created this good feeling through their own efforts.  I just love it when my kids are happy and proud of themselves, when I have less work to do, and laundry day isn’t for another week!

Sorry I left the laundry blogs hanging . . . between the end of the school year, two kids with ear infections and a third on antibiotics, I basically did what we all needed most; cuddled up with my kiddos in blankets and watched cartoons all day.

Now that life is back to normal (if that’s what you want to call it) I am blogging again.  I’m doing a happy sigh right now.        (sigh)          I like to write. 

So where were we?  Oh yes, the ever so dreadful laundry.

I have learned a few things over the course of doing the laundry for a family of six.  Things like: 

~  Don’t buy dry clean only clothes, it’s not worth the time or money.

~  Treat a stain with RESOLVE MAX™ Stain Stick^® and forget about it.  (See previous post  http://www.triedandtruemommy.com/2009/10/stick-it-to-stains/comment-page-1/#comment-37)

~  Have separate laundry baskets for whites and darks and put your clothes in the appropriate baskets as you take them off at night.  Tah-dah, no sorting on laundry day!

~  If it has to be ironed wait to iron it till you’re about to put it on.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to stand there for an hour and iron all of my hubby’s “office” shirts when it only takes him two minuets extra in the morning to iron one himself.  And, save yourself some money by not having them dry cleaned.

~  Don’t buy anything that has a tag on it warning you that the colors will bleed.  No red shirt is worth turning your son’s socks pink!  I have heard of Shout® Color Catcher® sheets that stop colors from bleeding (see the link on the left of my page for more info).  Some people swear by them but I’ve personally never tried them.  Why?  Well . . . one, I’m too cheap to buy them, and two, it’s just not worth the worry in the first place.  Which brings me to the KISS Principle.

~  Above all follow the KISS principle:  Keep It Simple Stupid.  You have enough to think about and fret over in a day; don’t make laundry part of it.

In my next post I’ll tell you how my kids do their own laundry with only a tiny bit of help from me.  Yes, my four year old does his own laundry!

Laundry! 

Laundry is just one of those chores that I really can’t stand because it’s never truly finished.  As long as my family is wearing clothes, there’s dirty laundry.  Not that my kids wouldn’t love to run around naked on laundry day, I just don’t think anyone would want me to join them.  So I got to thinking, besides going around in my birthday suit, how could I make doing the laundry more fun and enjoyable?  And here’s what I’ve come up with thus far:

First things first; limiting the amount of clothing you have.

When I was a kid I remember a time when my mother was out-of-town and my Dad had completely run out of clean underwear.  So instead of washing a load of laundry he simply went to the store and bought more underwear.  Lovely, I know.

No matter how much clothing you have, whether its one week or a whole months worth, you still end up doing the same amount of laundry.  One load once a week or four loads once a month, it’s still all the same.

When it comes to my kids they each have about 10 to 11 outfits for the week.  That’s seven to wear during the week, two for back-up, especially when they are playing outside a lot in the summer getting dirty and/or wet, and one or two church outfits (they never stay in them all day).  You may need more or less depending on your child and their rate of messiness.  I’ve found that a limited number of clothing forces my kids to really wear what they have and it is very manageable for them when they have to put their laundry away (that’s a blog post to come).

Limiting the amount of clothing my kids have has really helped with our family budget too.  Little girl clothes are so cute and I would buy tons of them if I could, but I know if I buy one outfit, another one would have to go.  Did I mention it also keeps us very organized?  My two boys share a closet and so do my two girls and there’s not a whole lot of room for tons of clothing.  Keeping the clothes to a specific number keeps their closets from getting crowded, messy and overwhelming, and makes doing laundry once a week a no brainer.

What really got me thinking about all of this laundry was my sister-in-law Sarah.  She recently went to a Bosch event in Arizona and had the opportunity to check out the latest and greatest in laundry.  She came back with a laundry load of tips and tricks.  You can check them out at: http://www.organizedmom.net/?page_id=108

Recently it has come to my attention that my boys can dirty up a toilet faster than you can say “Hit or Sit!”  It takes me twice as long to clean the toilet as it does for them to mess it up.  But that’s all about to change.

The other day I armed myself with toilet bowl cleaner, the scrubber and a package of sanitizing wipes and grabbed my boys.  They wanted to know if they were taking a bath and without missing a beat I told them yes, they would be taking a bath in the toilet.  After the ensuing “Ew, gross!” they stood there staring at toilet and then looked at me with my cleaning arsenal and they got the hint.

With all the patience I could muster I taught my boys how to clean the toilet, and I mean really clean the toilet.  How to not only scrub the bowl and wipe off the seat and rim, but how to clean under the tank (where my boys can shoot pee right under) and how to scrub the wall, floors and bath tub surrounding the toilet.  It was a beautiful thing!  No not the clean toilet, my kids cleaning!  I should have taken a picture.  I must have been too immersed in the cleaning battle to think about it.

In the end, my boys actually enjoyed it because of the pride they felt for a job well done.  I learned that scrubbing toilets was a job with many rewards.  My initial point was to have the boys clean the toilet so maybe they would learn how hard it was to clean up the mess they had made of it, and to be grateful that I had done it so many times for them.  Well, that’s not the lesson they took away from it, but I’m glad, because they learned something so much more valuable.  They learned the value of working hard and doing a good job.

Needless to say the toilet only stayed clean for a few hours until Bradley got up that night in a groggy state to go pee when he forgot to lift the lid to the toilet.  It was just like a horse peeing on a rock.  Yes I made him clean it up and yes he learned the lesson all over again about hard work, but also a most valuable lesson about lifting the toilet lid. :-)

I don’t think that any child who is old enough to use the potty is too young to clean it (to a certain extent).  I wouldn’t let my two and a half year old use the toilet bowl cleaning chemicals but I definitely let her wipe off the lid, tank and handle with a sanitizing wipe.  She too is learning how to work hard and do a good job and at this age she loves to be involved in the cleaning.  It takes two to three times longer for the job to get done, but the rewards are so much better than just a clean toilet!

Have you ever wondered how or why you were ever entrusted with one of Gods children?  Have you ever caught yourself saying “what was He thinking”?  Have you ever wondered why God sent you the children He did?  Have you ever wondered what you did to deserve them, in both good ways and bad?

Well, I’ve learned that God doesn’t make mistakes.  He knew what he was doing when he sent you your children.

He sent you your children knowing full well that you were going to get mad at them.  That you would yell at them.  Yes, even spank them.  He even knew that when your child took a flying leap off of the top of the bunk bed and got hurt that you would say “I told you so!” before you consoled him or her.  He knew that you weren’t going to keep an up-to-date scrapbook of their entire childhood.  He knew that you would start a tradition and sometimes forget.  He knew that you wouldn’t be there for every game.  He knew that you would feed them Lucky Charms for dinner.  He knew that you wouldn’t be able to catch them every time they fell.  He knew that you would wish them to be quiet and go away at 6:00am on Saturday mornings.  He knew that there would be times that you resented the fact you were the Mom.  He knew that you would have moments of great weakness that your children would witness.  And yet, despite all those things, he still sent you your children, specifically to you with a great purpose in mind.

God doesn’t make mistakes.  He hand picked your children to be yours because He knew that you were not going to be a good mother.  He knew you would be the best mother.  He knew that no other mother that ever lived or ever would live would be the best mother for that child besides you.  Despite all your faults and weaknesses your child was ment to be yours.  He knew you would be the best mother for them.

He knew that you would love them more than anyone else ever could.  He knew that you would make the biggest fool of yourself just to get them to smile.  He knew that your heart would explode with pride the first time that they said Mama.  He knew that you would be their biggest fan.  He knew that your heart would break when their heart broke.  He knew how many tears you would shed for them.  He knew that you would go to the ends of the earth just to hug them.  He knew that throughout your child’s life, full of trials and tribulations, that you would be the one that they needed.  He knew how much you were willing to sacrifice for them.  He knew you would die for them.

God doesn’t make mistakes, but He knew you would, and that your children would.  He knew that you would love them regaurdless.   He knew they needed you to be their mother, and you needed them to be your children.

He knows you.  He knows them.  And that’s why His plan is perfect.  He doesn’t make mistakes.

Go ahead and congratulate or berate yourself on being a “good mother”.  But always know this:  You are the best mother.

Wow!  I had such a huge response about our time out sheet that I thought I’d post it here for everyone.  Feel free to tweak it to fit your families needs and the ages of your kids.  I originally got the idea from pecentral.com where they talk about time out with purpose.  Crystal Coffman who teaches PE at Green Valley Elementary School in Roanoke, VA submitted her “Time Out” Worksheet to pecentral.com and that’s where I got the basic ideas for the time out questions.  (I wanted to be sure to give credit where credit was due.)

So here are our questions that keep my seven year old out of time out . . .

1.  Why do you think you are in time out?

2.  What could you have done differently so that you wouldn’t be in time out right now?

3.  Will you try to choose the right from now on?  _____ YES  _____ NO

4.  What do you think you could do now to make amends?

That’s it.  Four simple questions that seem to be the worst thing in the world to have to sit in time out and answer.  I hope this helps keep your kids out of time out too.

What home with little kids wouldn’t be complete without a “time out spot”?

My four year old is all too familiar with our time out spot.  I pretty sure he’s worn an indention in the floor where he sits to think about his choices that led him there.  With my seven year old the time out spot became a total joke until we added the time out sheet.  Our time out sheet has questions on it like;  Why do you think you are in time out?  If you broke a rule what rule was it?  What could you do differently next time?  I love the time out sheet because it really makes him think about what happened as he fills it out.  He holds himself accountable for his own choices and realizes the consequences.

As much as the time out spot has become a staple so has the hug and apology that follows (usually to the little sister).  If for nothing else, time out is a place where the kids can calm down before they return to play.  But sometimes it’s not the kids who need the time out. 

Around 5:00pm (the bewitching hour for my kids) I reach the end of my patience.  Between cooking dinner, getting ready for my dance class and trying to keep my kids out of the snack cupboard, I loose it!  So instead of throwing my kids out the window, I just loudly announce that mommy has to go to time out.  Of course my kids look at me like I’ve lost my marbles, but it’s effective, and I head out the door to the garage.  In our garage I have a large punching bag called “Mommy’s Sanity”.  For some reason beating the crap out of the punching bag  for two minutes seems to return me to my kids in a much better state of mind and I feel like I can cope for a little while longer, or at least till my husband gets home.

So whether it’s in the garage, or in a bathroom with a lock on the door, Mommy’s (and Daddy’s) need their own time outs too.  It’s just too bad time out couldn’t always be at the spa.

It’s funny that I really didn’t consider myself a ”true mother” the instant that my first baby was born.  I guess what I considered a “true mother” to be was, not just the mother of a child, but a mother who does some of those weird mom things that your own mother did that you swore you’d never do.  Like show up to school delivering your forgotten lunch while dressed in something totally tacky.  Or lick her finger and use it to wipe jelly off of your face.  Or point her finger at you and say some thing like “Don’t you take that tone of voice with me young lady!”

I’m sad to say, but none the less happy to report, that I too became a true mother.  It’s never one of those moments you dream about, it’s just one of those things that was bound to happen and, of course, when you least expected it.

It started off like any other normal day.  My son was about three at the time and he had just woken up and crawled into my bed and asked for his morning sippy cup full of chocolate milk.  After I had retrieved his chocolate milk and turned on the cartoons I hurried into the bathroom to try and get my shower done before the baby woke up.  I was in and out in less than five minuets and had just gotten my underwear on when I heard my son moaning.  I walked into the room to the side of my bed where he was lying propped up on my pillows.  I asked him in a sympathetic voice ”What’s wrong honey, you don’t look like you’re feeling so good?”  He slowly started to sit up and said “Mom, I don’t feel good.”  He had just reached his knees and faced me when suddenly his whole body heaved and he threw up.  That’s when my motherly instincts must have kicked in because I dove with my hands cupped and tried to ”catch” the vomit.

Now let me ask you this . . . what person in their right mind tries to catch vomit!?!  Logically I knew that I would not be able to catch, let alone hold, a belly full of chocolate milk in my hands, but none the less I still tried.  It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

When he was finished emptying his stomach into my hands (and spraying my freshly cleansed body with vomit) I told him to stay right there and that I’d be right back.  To prevent myself from adding to the mess, I started to wash off my hands, my body and my face, when I caught sight of myself in the mirror.  There staring right back at me was a true mother.  A mother who had just done one of those weird mom things that you had only witnessed your own mother doing (like trying to catch kid vomit in her hands).

The whole time I cleaned up my sick little boy in the tub, changed the sheets on my bed and scrubbed the carpet I couldn’t stop thinking about how surreal and weird the whole thing was.  Sure my son had put me to the test before with nursing and diaper changes but those were all normal things to expect.  It’s the not so normal things.  The things you think you’ll never do, but that inevitably end up happening when you least expected them to.  Those are the things that really define you as a true mother.

So I’m curious, what was your truly defining motherly moment?  Did you find yourself doing any of those totally bazaar mom things you swore you’d never do?  If so please share by clicking on ’Read users comments’ below.  Thanks for sharing!  And happy mothering!

I’m not really sure how it happens, I just know that it does.

It must take place late at night while everyone is sleeping.  I’m not sure if it’s multiplication, cloning, or mitosis, but some how when I wake up in the morning there are twice as many toys in our house as there were when I went to bed!  And some how my kids seem to know which ones are new and which ones are ‘old’.  Old as in a few weeks.  New toys are, of course, more exciting and entertaining, so now the ‘old’ toys get shoved to the back of the closet or under the bed never to be played with again.  Or maybe not. . .

I’ve noticed a phenomenon that seems to take place every time I try to donate those ’old’ toys.  When I dig them out from the depths of the closet and put them in a box destined for the donation truck all of a sudden they are the greatest toys ever!  “You can’t give it away, it’s my favorite.”  Before I know it my box is empty and all of the ‘old’ toys are now new.  Amazing how that works.

Now if you really want to get the biggest reaction ever to ‘old’ toys take some Rubbermaid bins and toss about one third to one half of the toys in it and stick the bins in the attic or garage.  Wait anywhere from three to four months and then rotate the new ‘old’ toys for the old ‘new’ toys.  Does that make sense?  It’s like Christmas every time we get the bins out of the attic.    I try to get my timing right by rotating the toys out of the attic during times like spring break, the beginning of summer, when we have a new baby, basically any time I need my kids to be self entertained.

So the next time your kids come to you and say their bored simply grab a box and start piling all of the ‘old’ toys in it and sit back and watch the old become new again.

I thought that I would spare you my horrible singing voice by writing the lyrics down for you to sing to yourself as you read this wonderfully re-written rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.  Please enjoy “Ode to the Bedtime Battle”.

~

OOOHHH, say can you see, by the evenings fading light,

what so loudly had wailed was my toddler not sleeping.

Whose small feet were kicking the walls, thru his perilous fight.

O’re the tantrums we watched our son gallantly screaming.

And the neighbors did stare, since they easily heard me swear.

Giving proof through the night that our son wasn’t sleeping.

Oh, wont that kid ever give up and let us be saved.

In the house of no sleep and the home of the depraved!

~

Every parent will inevitably experience a bedtime battle with their child at one point or another.  At what age it will happen is hard to say, and if it hasn’t happened to you yet then prepare yourself, it’s coming.  If you have been, or are in the middle of the battle field, take heart!  The backup troops are here!  It’s called “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Mark Weissbluth, M.D.

In my experience every kid is different (even kids in the same family) and so certain things work with one kid that won’t necessarily work with another.  That’s the beauty of this book.  Dr. Weissbluth gives you easy to follow step-by-step directions on what to do no matter what type of non-sleeper you have.  His comprehensive book takes a look at sleeping issues all the way from newborns to teenagers.  Through his research and pediatric practice he supports his methods with scientific evidence and first hand accounts from parents of “non-sleepers”.

I have read, marked and re-read this book with each of my children and I’m still using it as a useful parenting tool.  No, not to throw at my kids when they don’t go to bed, but to keep one step ahead of them and sleeping well.

You can find new and used copies at Amazon.com from $11 to $17 and it qualifies for part of their free super saver shipping.  If you have found yourself singing your own rendition of “Ode to the Bedtime Battle” and have now learned tips and tricks on how to prevail, please comment below!  Now, play ball!